20090430
nghia
11:35 PM
nghia, this post is for you. be touched (:
being in malay dance for 1.5years, i really hate it that ppl have to leave. firstly, dinah left. then, seniors step down. and then shiqi left. its 'cause i love malay dance so much that i hate to know that some ppl in this family is going to leave us. today, your last dance trg w us, nghia. i dont know what to say luh actually. im not close to you enough to talk about whatever the vietnamese boys have mentioned in their blog. urgh wait, my thoughts are all jumbled up now. okay lets start from when i first know you. i rmb it was until like aristal period that i finally know the guys in malay dance. and then after that, when i got into the exco, became your exco leader, then its when i start to know more about you.
cant really find a right word to describe you. haha, definitely not anti 'cause i know that we all love malay dance a lot. it sucks to have ppl leaving. esp when i only start to know more about you this year. but i know that you're going to soccer which you love alot. and everyone will hope that you're happier there, im sure. but its not going to be the same anymore. i wont come to the hall and see someone sitting at some corner and listening to mp3 haha. i wont see someone wearing some stupid hat. i wont dance with this someone again. i wont see this backview in the photos that we take anymore. i wont see this expressionless face in pictures anymore. haha, its going to be different and weird that you're not dancing w us anymore, but like what whoever said, njc malay dance is a family, and you will be part of us forever.
and then some things ive to say first : you're not supposed to pretend that you dont know me! you're supposed to come down as often as possible, even if you're just sitting there doing nothing. you're supposed to come for seniors farewell and join in the planning and best if you are performing haha. you're supposed to wave as enthusiastically back at me as i will wave to you haha.
I LOVE NJC MALAY DANCE MORE THAN WORDS CAN SAY <3
20090426
chinese
6:29 PM
maybe i was too influenced by the vietnamese post on porkpau's blog. haha i have this urge to post in chinese. and i know half the people who bothered to read my blog and tag and stuff dont understand chinese, but whatever. ask someone to translate for you, or approach me :D either that, or you can use the link that ive provided, i use it to translate the vietnamese words i see :P haha, its not a good translation, 'cause its direct translation i guess. but you shd be roughly able to get the meaning: http://www.translation-services-usa.com/vietnamese.php
最近我身边的人都很想不开心。快乐真的可以很简单，如果你愿意的话。烦恼谁没有？一个人要开心或烦恼其实都是自己决定的。我猜想身边的人因该都是有烦恼的事吧。遇到困难时，你可以选择面对它，解决它，然后不再让它打扰你的生活。可是，就有很多人选择逃避，然后然它继续一直追着你，直到它追上你，向乌云一样笼罩着你，让你喘不过气来。其实，你可以回头面对它，打倒它的。可是，大多数的人就是没有那个勇气-他们害怕身后有个大巨人。
我们似乎总是把事情想得太复杂。如果你鼓起勇气转过头，你会发现它只是只迷了路的小狗。那个骨头打发走它，或者帮它找回主人，它就不会跟着你了。它的主人或许还回答谢你，给你一个意想不到的惊喜呢。逃避不是解决问题的方法。即使你穿山越岭，逃到天涯海角，摆脱了之前的那只小狗，在天涯海角，还是会有另外一只迷了路的小狗的。摆脱了小狗后，记得不要老是回头望; 那只会给自己没必要的担心。
我们不能老是逃避，我们必须学着面对。遇到问题时只会逃脱的人，千万不要跟我喊累，因为你的累是你自己咎由自取的。如果你早就肯解决问题，你不会感觉到压在身上的负担，也不会感到疲惫。
真的，如果每个人都能抱着这样的观念，问题都能解决，你们都会开心，我也会。世界会更美好，天空永远都会晴朗。真的，其实快乐就这么简单，只是看你有没有勇气去寻找你自己的快乐。i tried translating with the online translator. HAHA its quite funny. maybe you can get it maybe you cant. if you cant then come and find me or some chinese luh. they will tell you. its not an emo post ppl, its an inspirational post btw :D
lots of things
12:17 AM
lots of things have been happening this week. okay, firstly, life is roughly back to normal, ive been catching up quite well. but i know i will lag behind again, once dance starts. but okay, whatever i can do now is to just do as much hw as possible.
speaking of which, i cant keep to my schedule of finishing maths and chem hw today! urgh, this com is really a huge distraction man. i really should start to stop myself from coming online. okay anyway, the weather is really bad nowadays, take care people! ive been having headaches almost every single day, and it sucks 'cause you just feel like sleeping and not doing work.
i was almost crazy from mugging maths on thursday. some unpleasant things happen lets not mention it. unpleasant things always happen, you've to learn to forget about it. anyway, i was almost on the verge of breaking down 'cause i spent so long doing stats qns, which is like wth! at 5pm, finally exco meeting starts, so i took my mind off from maths for a while. realised that there're more performances then ive expected (:
friday which is yesterday i received back phy lecture test. gosh i shant say the marks it was really bad. but i cant expect much 'cause i didnt study a single thing. okay obviously i tried to get some equations into my head before going into the lt, but yeah i really didnt touch the notes the night before. and i knew i was dead, 'cause efield, bfield, gfield is one of my worst topics. but the marks on the test paper shant discourage me, in fact, it shall motivate me to work harder. being weak in the fields isnt an excuse to not do well.
today went bugis w my sister. 'cause i thought its so long since ive gone out, i really felt like a no-life person. okay, i purposely bring as lil money as possible so that i wont splurge, and luckily i brought lil money. if not i'd be really really broke right now. but it sucks to be unable to buy all the pretty clothes and shoes and bags URGH i really need money! okay that sounds materialistic but whatever.
and... my brother is going to enlist into army soon :D 5 june! okay, not really soon. but the thought of grabbing his laptop over and use it as mine. and then, yeah he's going to not be home for 3months or close to 4months! 'cause he's obese and he has to have extra 2 months of basic military trg haha. yay i hope when he's allowed to come home, i'll see a totally different brother, some hot dashing one :DDDDD and i heard that guys are nicer to their sister after going through ns, i dont know why, but i will wait and see if its true (:
oh btw, tmr is star awards. ethan ruan is coming. mygosh, jiamin will be there too. i dont know if she's performing but wth, does that mean she will be able to get to see ethan ruan?! i got to stick to the tv tmr, afterall its a once in a year event and somemore this year is like 1.5year from the previous one. therefore, conclusion i must finish my hw in time tmr! thus, off to sleep. so i can wake up early to do so :D
20090419
thanks to my significants
10:09 PM
http://www.facebook.com/posted.php?id=1121297104&share_id=69349664300#/video/video.php?v=71479658035&ref=share
this is the link to the jc team syf video which gwen has kindly uploaded. i dont know why im putting the link here. for non malay dancers who want to see i guess.
its been almost two weeks after syf. and life is getting real boring without dance. three weeks of break is seriously way too long. im getting fat without pe and dance haha. and chinese dance syf is coming soon soon soon! so is angklung's! all the best people (:
I WANT DANCE TO START START START START START!
okay anyway, on friday, we gathered to have dance dinner. i practically just kept eating the veggies 'cause that is the only few non spicy stuff. nevertheless, the dinner was nice and i was super duper full. im ashamed to be later than most people when i live the nearest haha. quite sad that i didnt have time to meet up w jimmy and alvin before dinner. but yea, hope everything's good for them :D
reached home earlier than the scholars! first time ever :D supposed to mug chem spa but ended up chatting online again. haha, woke up normal schooltime for spa. it was alright luh, except a stupid equation that ive gotten wrong, that isnt anything missing i guess? anyway that was the last chem spa ever alr :D met saniah and gwen and went to kap for breakfast! attempted to wake the scholars up but gave up knowing how lazy scholars are LOL. sat at one corner and started crapping and gossiping and whatever not. i want dance to restart!
and then recently ive started to learn to be more appreciative of things and people around me. and lissya told me in the morning that i was the first to know about TAC AWW :D i thought i was the first few i didnt know i was the first! HAHA and i hereby thank nurlissya binte suwandi for making me feel so significant. and to ________, haha i guess you dont want your name to be publicized, but aww thanks for all those lil stuff too! you make me feel significant as well! and it was so nice to hear that you feel equally significant too :D
i shall acknowledge people often (: btw eunice lim, you better correct your spelling mistake on your blog RIGHT NOW! but its such a heartwarming scene. 20 years later haha :D
btw i found a nice song (: its time to change my blog song!
20090416
why unhappy
11:02 PM
after reading some blog posts, i realise people like to post v cheem stuff, things that are really profound which i couldnt quite grasp. and some of my friends' posts are really emo. sometimes, why can't we just look at things more simply? it makes everyone happier you know.
09 has been a great year for me, i dont know why. probably when i start growing older, and hopefully being more mature haha, i start to look at things from a different light. its not that i dont have my sad times whatever not, but its that i choose to ignore them and remember only the happy moments. 'cause ive learnt from past experience that there's no point weeping and crying and sobbing over smth that most likely couldnt be changed. thats why you cry right, 'cause you know you cannot do anything to salvage the situation. and i always tell myself this, after i cry, i must get up again, forget about it and move on with my life.
it sucks to see friends emoing and being sad. seriously, life is never easy and i used to feel that its so hard you know. 'cause ive to laugh and smile like nothing happened but deep down i actually dont feel like smiling. 'cause i just want my friends to not get affected. but i started to change. i dont know if ive turned more selfish in a way, or ive just learnt to love myself more. i dont force myself to laugh for the sake of laughing, and surprisingly it gets increasingly easy for me to smile and laugh, truly, sincerely, from the bottom of my heart.
really, if we just look around us, look at the small little things that happened, be appreciative of them, im sure you can find smth to make you genuinely smile for that day (:
to all friends, really be happy. esp the one emoing away you know who you're. and those that has emo posts too and that girl who is having a moodswing or whatever not. 'cause its really when you're happy that i'll be happy too (:
20090413
jiamin!
9:45 PM
i think jiamin did well yesterday (: and i know she gave her best, so im really proud of her. truly proud of her like how im proud of my malay dancers :D
just read the newspapers. there're some rumours going around saying that jiamin lost 'cause her popularity dropped due to her rumours with yuyang or smth. smth like that. i couldnt rmb the real thing so i dont want to give the wrong info.
but what i want to say is... PLEASE! DONT WE HAVE MORE INTERESTING THINGS TO TALK ABOUT?! like how well she sang or smth, why do we have to keep on harping on the same issue?!
i used to ask someone smth, and he told me this answer which i wasnt satisfied with. so i said 'wahlao dont lie luh. its so obvious that its not true.' and he told me this, which really sort of like enlightened me. 'if you dont believe me, why do you even bother asking me in the first place' VERY TRUE!
ive not personally asked jiamin about this but since she've clarified so many times that they're just good friends, then let it be. i believe her! (:
and people who tagged on jiamin's fc blog, you can dislike her style of singing, disagree with her choice of songs whatever. as long as its a professional judgement, but stop disliking her 'cause of whatever rumours you've heard which might not even contain 1% of the truth. 'cause she's my friend and i know she's the best! (: and im really proud of her that she's so strong and she really dont get the least affected by all these crap. go jiamin! i love you the way you are : D
okay, smth nice happened today!
at 9.56am, cao liwei messaged me! on his own accord, i swear i was utterly surprised i screamed haha. and i couldnt stop beaming for the next 15mins when his smses were being received. sometimes, we shldnt look so deep into things. the fact that he actually sms me first is smth really rare alr. if we could all be appreciative of the little things that happen, imagine how wonderful life would be! (:
20090411
sick
10:00 PM
im still sick ): it doesnt seem to be any better from yesterday. i hope im okay tmr if not i wont be able to go support jiamin luh! anyway all the best jiamin!
and happy birthday xiaojun! (: though you probably wont read this! haha i guess you'll be super excited for me knowing that ive future mugging sessions with liwei :D :D
okay i forgot what i want to say ): thats stupid right haha.
anyway, i really think that its all those little things in life that accumulates up to all the big happiness (: i never felt that life was that great, 09 has been a wonderful year for me! my results are improving, malay dance has given me lots of love, s21 has been fun all the things. i really felt like life couldnt be any better!
okay, and what i want to say is that the national day song 'we will get there'.
' deep in my heart, i just know.
right from the start, we will grow.
look where we are, we've come so far,
and there's still a long long way to go.
with all of my heart, i will care.
i'll play my part, i'll share.
with
FAMILY and friends, together we'll stand
and in the end, hand in hand, WE WILL GET THERE'
and yes malay dancers, we've alr gotten there! yay and right there's still a long long way to go. im sorry im still in the malay dance got gold w honours mood. i was dancing to sarong dance music and plate dance music just now. and replaying the recorded part ' national junior college : gold with honours' along with travis' screams, i just cant help but think of our glorious moment again.
and i want to talk about this really long ago but i kept forgetting. alicia! she's my neighbour. she's like about 1 year plus. she's super cute you know! she knows how to call jiejie alr, but she just wouldnt call me ): but she'll wave hi and bye to me! omg and she knows where is her hair and eyes already. omg she's so adorable man! :D
oh and ive lost one or two kilo since dance camp. and i presume i will lose another kilo 'cause i didnt eat much this two days since ive no appetite. ahah which to me, is a good thing! 'cause i can shed away fats easily :D
20090410
syf day
10:56 PM
post syf celebrations! okay luh it wasnt a total failure considering we changed plans at 11pm yesterday. it wasnt that bad afterall! (:
gossiping session was fun though! haha but what is said remains within venezia. so for those who werent there, haha toobad!
okay im down with a cold. had a slight fever and flu. actually my head was kind of heavy before i left house for lunch alr. but 'cause its malay dance outing, i dont want to miss it! :D im sorry to anyone who happened to share stuff with me. i think no one except lissya. but we ate our waffle separately so it shd be alright. no germs going around i hope. haha im okay alr now! just that i still feel weak and yea weak. but i made it home safely so yea. being sick sucks, so lizhu get well soon (:
let me recall about syf. i remember on tue, we were excused at 12 to start and therefore end training early. didnt end at 430 as planned. it was dragged till 530. but i remember i was feeling nervous 'cause the dance doesnt seem to be perfect or smth yet. and whats more, during warmup, in an attempt to prevent muscle aches the next day, i stretch myself to the maximum and in fact over the max. 'cause i heard some tearing sound in my left thigh, i think i pulled smth. it still hurts now!
on wed mrng when i wake up, i was so afraid 'cause i couldnt walk properly. i was limping and i cant put my weight on my left leg. i jumped around and walk alot although it was quite painful 'cause if i dont, i cant dance properly later! the first warmup round my thigh was still painful and it was a horrible one. oh yea and thanks joycelyn's parents for fetching me to school. how do i say. it was cool. the makeup is COOL and this time, i can see my fake eyelashes :D :D :D :D :D :D so pretty but pricky and heavy. went up to get brunch for the dancers along w thinking and kurt. haha i think everyone was staring at me and thinking 'cause we're like in makeup and everything alr. thinking seriously needs to learn some chi!
okay just lag around for a while and before we know it, its time for the last few warmup rounds. some teachers came to watch and some students were there too. the ip team was sitting right infront of us. i really feel like im dancing just 'cause i want to show how great njc malay dance is. and at that point of time, i felt that we were ready. truly ready and we did it!
the 7minutes on stage passed by like 2mins?! i didnt cry 'cause i didnt want my makeup to smudge haha. and partly 'cause i was enjoying the moment that i didnt think about crying i dont know luh. the wait for the results is kind of torturous. altho we kept saying that the gold w honours isnt that impt, somehow it just is to me. its a way to prove that njc malay dance can do it. dialogue session, wth the judges spoke in malay. whats more, lissya couldnt understand everything they say 'cause its diff from the malay she know, and she gave up translating i gave up listening too. thinking wanted to sleep 'cause he wrote notes till 2am the previous night -.- haha but we ended up talking, quite alot, about random stuff.
smth funny happened:
me : eh thinking can you put down your legs.
thinking : why? you put down yours luh.
me: i cant put down mine.
thinking: why not?
me: 'cause my legs cant touch the floor and it feels weird!
i just like attacked myself haha. when the gold and gold w honours came out of the judges' mouth, i really couldnt take it anymore but cry. imagine all the hard work and everything. even up till today, i still cant believe we really did it :DDDD im so proud of all the dancers. my last syf, the best one. no wonder they always say save the best for the last. haha
btw smth random, A for pw! like what huiwei says, it just multiplies the joy!
and P.S. happy birthday huiwei! (:
20090408
gwh!
11:12 PM
my mind is still in a whirl and i still need time to calm down. quoting eunice, 'we always know that we will shine, what surprises us is that we shine so bright.' and quoting pp or whoever, 'we came here as winners, and left here as CHAMPIONS'.
i need to sort out my thoughts so i will blog properly tmr. for now, all i can say is
NJC MALAY DANCE IP TEAM:
GOLD!
NJC MALAY DANCE JC TEAM:
GOLD W HONOURS!i'm so proud of every single one of us. i love you so much, really. today's a good day 'cause everything seems so pleasant today. i had a nice chat with you today :D
20090406
emo period
10:12 PM
syf is really like bringing out the emotional side of me. it makes me nervous yet excited and blahblah not.
ip syf was today! like approximately 6hours ago, we were sitting up there in the audience, waiting and watching out for njc malay dance ip team. i heard that when they said njc malay dance, the ppl infront was like 'WHAT?! NJC MALAY DANCE DOING TRADITIONAL!' yes we're doing traditional, and i know that you're eagerly waiting for our contempt part. fret not, its coming up this wed!
yes, its the first time we're sending in an traditional malay dance team for syf and really, ip team, you've done so well and the seniors are just so proud so proud of you! and i guess you guys give us the motivation to train harder tmr so that we polish up every single thing that is imperfect and we can present the best dance ever on wednesday. i really dont know how to describe my feelings now. ive read nghia's email. its kind of rare that he's so sentimental but yes, i was really touched by it and tears flowed out unknowingly.
i read alison's blog, she's talking about post syf. i cant imagine it. in two days' time, im going to blog about post syf too. months of hard work summarized into a 7 minutes dance. and im v glad to see that everyone's so motivated to do our best and enjoy every single moment on stage up there performing with each other. it has been so long since i last participated in syf. 7 or 8 years ago? i really cant rmb much about that. but what i know now is, im going to perform with this team of lovely people. people whom i love so so much and we're going to show that njc malay dance has what it takes! :D
but i cant help feeling emo you know! i'll terribly miss the vietnamese. i cant imagine life after stepping down and so on. i know syf is not the end, there's still whatever not thing. but syf is telling me that ive to step down soon. and after a's, i might probably never ever see the vietnamese again (besides seniors farewell). for all i know, they will go back to vietnam after a's, i'll stay in my singapore and for this whole lifetime, i might never see them again...
TO ALL THE VIETNAMESE & ALL OTHER SCHOLARS (IP TEAM INCLUDED) YOU BETTER REMEMBER THAT SYF IS NOT THE END, STEPPING DOWN IS NOT THE END, SENIORS FAREWELL IS NOT THE LAST THING. YOU'LL PROBABLY NEVER BE ABLE TO GET RID OF ME 'CAUSE UR SUPPOSED TO STAY IN CONTACT W ME ALL THE WAY! speaking of which, i get excited when i talk about the little porkpaus ahaha. right eunice! :D
alright emo stuff aside, jc team, the juniors have set a great eg. for us and we're going to shine as well and lets all just hope that we can achieve double gold w honours. even if we dont, rmb what nghia has said, we dont need the recognition, 'cause we know we're good enough. all really, thats all that matters.
20090405
syf!
12:29 AM
using gwen's words, we've alr reached our last lap of 2.4km. in fact the end of it, ip syf is tmr! considering that its past 12 alr and its sunday alr. jc syf is another 2 or 3 days time. we've reached this point of time that we're just waiting to know whats our final results. for jc team, we still have a few hours on tue and thats really our final sprint.
somehow the syf tension wasnt as bad as i thought. i think we all really want the gold w honours, considering how much hard work we put in. and how we all want to show everyone else that njc malay dance is good. im excited about syf! just like how excited i was when we perform for cikgu's other schools. when i dread knowing that the 7mins is just gone like that. we practised months for it, and i really hope the 7 minutes is like never ending. i dont know how to phrase it, but i guess it'll be the exact same feeling ive during curtain call on aristal night. working so hard for months, and suddenly its like all gone, and you just dont want it to end. and i really dreaded thinking of post-syf.
yes, i can rest more.
i can concentrate more on my studies which arent v good in the first place.
i can recover from all my backaches and bruises and muscle aches.
but i cannot dance anymore.
i cant see my dancers as much anymore.
i just dont want to step down luh. i'll only have one commitment then-studies: mugging for a's. i can go down for dance practices and watch the j1s train. but i cant train w them together anymore.
some ppl wait a lifetime, for a moment like this.
despite all the emoing, im so glad that ive waited much less than a lifetime, and i found a FAMILY like this :D
