20090828
Muggers deserve breaks, not me.
9:25 PM
Alright look at that title I have. Muggers deserve breaks, not me. Cannot be more suitable. HELLO I'VE BEEN MUGGING FOR SO LITTLE HOURS AND I'M TOO DISGRACED TO EVEN CLAIM THAT I NEED A BREAK!
5more days to prelims! Planned out a schedule just now, oh my gosh, how am I going to finish studying so much everyday. Well well well, I have to, somehow. Am online just to write my testimonial.
Oh yeah I do have to mention that LW messaged me yesterday. I didn't see the message till like 4 whole hours later but anyway, I think time is too little for me to go mugging with him. I really cannot afford to chitchat with him during the course of mugging. As such, I'm sorry.
And, I freaking hell got a shock today. The bus was cramped and this guy squeezed past me and he looked down at me (literally) and for that instant, I was so hopeful that he's YL. But oh well, I figured out that it wasn't YL afterall. But seriously, for that split second, I really thought it's him. Then I realised it isn't. The height, the smile, everything just so isn't YL luh. I guess I haven't seen YL for too long and I'm hallucinating. And it better not be him because it definitely isn't my glammest moment.
I really hope I'm not ever going to be online already till after prelims. Bday wish list has been pushed all the way down. As such, I'm going to re-post it HAHAA. (Yes I really do want presents to make up for the fact that I'm mugging on the 18th birthday!) Oh yeah smart girl, Shairah Ramazan! She actually spoilt the surprise and told me she have already drawn my birthday card! There goes the surprise Shairahaha!
1. LG Lollipop phone.
(Freaking hell when is the phone coming out? ._. I'm so tired of waiting for it. Anyone else has other equally nice flip phones to recommend?)
2. Wallet.
If you guys read Teenage magazine, get the October 2008 issue, flip to page 49. There's this 'Paul Frank monogram white wallet from Flash&Splash. Flash&Splash is located at Heerens.
3. Camera.
I've no comments about this because no one in the right mind would get me this. Probably Sharon, if you ever read this, you can. Because you're a working adult and is thus rich enough.
4. Pretty clothes + shoes + accessories.
Which is crap, 'cause you wouldn't have the same taste as me. So why not give me money straightaway haha.
5. NIKE bottle.
Okay I don't know how to describe it, but I'm sure you guys have seen it before.
http://www.sheactive.co.uk/images/items/338x451/IMG61992096.jpg this kind. Haha, I remember seeing a purple one. I want the purple one, actually the pink one is okay. Aiyah, you guys know my taste right. Those kind of girlish colour. I swear this is one of the most practical gifts already.
6. Body Shop's strawberry/pomengrate hydrating spray.
The strawberry one is nowhere to be found. If only Lissya stocks up many many bottles in her house. Therefore, I will settle for pomengrate one, btw pomengrate one is limited edition. So, it might disappear off the shelves anytime.
7. New shoulder bag.
I haven't decided what I want though but just not the same old boring kind luh. Even Lissya is bored of it haha, the same old black rectangular kind.
Okay I can't think of anything else already. I'm being really impractical here haha. Somehow this year's wishlist are like all rather expensive products. Okay, oh yeah but please, no more soft toys. I know they're cute and stuff but my house has thousands of them. And it's always piggy stuff.
1. Awesome Prelims results. (Since I spend my birthday mugging for Prelims, I must gain something from it right.)
2. Followed by even more splendid Alevels results.
3. I hope hair grows long enough by end of year so that I can get my curls soon! :D
20090823
Randomly distributed.
10:18 PM
Weekend policy did work this week. But from today onwards, I should just not go near this computer already.
Just because I had the concession pass to skip school for this week, I actually started slacking and stuff. Bad bad timing to do so. A week or so to Prelims, and I'm still here, haven't really started much on revision, and needing someone to desperately give me a push. Never mind, I still have a week more. One more week, I can survive the first half of mugging for Prelims. No more dramas please. Oh freak I really hate myself for the lack of determination to do anything.
Facebook and MSN are getting boring due to the limited number of people online. I can't believe I actually still lingered around for so long even though I claimed that they are boring. Once again, I hate how I use all sorts of excuses to carry on procrastinating. It's a self-delusion that I've lots of time.
Colours award on friday. It was such a rush and I ended up ON TIME, waiting for Lissya for 20mins. Fine, I shan't complain because I was the one who insisted on waiting. I promise I will never be late for outings again; it's such a torture waiting. As usual, camwhored haha had lots of groups like Singaporeans, Chinese, Mainstreams etc. Dancers brought a smile onto my face once again, and that night of no mugging was a great one. Slacked the whole of Saturday too and had dinner with Mummy and Sister because Sister and I are supposedly treating Mummy as her birthday gift or something. Once again, we said but we never paid haha.
BUT we went out to get her gift today. Oh yes, and my sister and I are having many disputes recently. She's so becoming TK, forever bickering with me. Bro's birthday is next Sunday! I'll be broke again yay! I'll get him a super belated present maybe. But hey, how come he isn't bringing me out for treats and stuff like other brothers do.
Let's put everything aside, and I'm serious this time round. Byebye cyberspace, I'll come back to blog during the September holidays. Or if I can't mug finish, then after Prelims then! :D
Yay I will conquer this and survive. If we want to do something, we do it to the best we can! (: NJC MALAY DANCE SPIRIT HUH. Oh yeah juniors, all the best for all upcoming performances! Three more months or so, I'll be back. :D
20090816
Farewell, it's just a short goodbye.
10:02 PM
Seniors' farewell yesterday was a blast! :D Can't imagine how sweet the juniors are. Everything is like so personalized and stuff. And the dress code colour thing which we're assigned to made us all curious for a whole day.
Daisy was ranked No.1 junior and Aqilah No.2. I officially forget who is No.3. Okay, the whole point is, we were totally sitting there like queens and alright, one king. (Eww I didn't want to say that but let's not be mean alright.) While food were just being brought to us, we sat down there, chitchatted and talked. Alright, it's an honour to serve your seniors right.
Had cool video watching at cool places. Haha, video is projected against a wall beside the swimming pool. Some kids were obviously fascinated with the shadows they form and stuff. Laughed a lot just by seeing how they tried to block the video and stuff, which was impossible 'cause it was way too big. Oh and how Lissya tried to push the little boy down and stuff HAHA.
Mrs Jalleh brought Zoey along. She has so many hair already and is utterly adorable. I carried her and she didn't cry yay! :D This reminded me of what Seah Junhao said about babies disliking people who smell. Okay so I didn't smell bad yesterday yay! (Despite all the sweating and stuff.) Camwhored a lot with the graduating batch and then after a while Ly and Daisy joined in too. I love the box photo, as well as the one at the stone. Played a while at the playground haha. That pole thing which I kind of miss. Those carefree days aww! (: Saniah please upload the photos fast!
As I've expected, no one cried. Okay yeah not even Lissya. It's not that we're not touched. It's just that to me, this farewell is just a short goodbye. After A's, we'll be back again. It's like how you will return home, back to your FAMILY, after studying overseas and being away from them for months or even years right. It's the same thing here. For the upcoming performances, we'll probably not have the time and energy to go down to support the juniors. But yeah, the malay dance spirit lives on right. When we're on stage, we perform to the best we can! :D
Oh yes, how sweet. The juniors gave us a tee-shirt with all the well wishes. Alright not totally well wishes 'cause Saiful Teo is being sarcastic. And they sewed a bear for each one of us. When I say sew, I really mean sew from just cotton and cloth. And the bear is wearing our SYF Liku Hidup costume. :D AWESOME! The stitches may be obvious, and bear's head may be flimsy, but I really sensed every heart and soul put into it. I wonder if anyone had accidentally poked themselves with the needles. How sweet right. Life can't get any better knowing how great juniors you have.
I will survive mugging.
20090814
Funny huh.
9:57 PM
I'm going to post a short part on it. (Okay I admit I'm afraid that if someone sees this post, I'll get hit/slapped/whatever.) But I've to say it luh. How can someone be so ungentlemanly?! URGH I can't believe such things still happen. And he can still laugh like it's a joke and tell everyone so loudly. He ought to be ashamed of himself. And the funny thing is, he's the one in the wrong and he actually dared to rebut back. WOW AS SUCH, IMPRESSION OF HIM DROPPED TO NEGATIVE INFINITY AND WHATEVER GOOD IMPRESSION OF BIGBIRD DROPPED TO ZERO.
I can't believe I am still tramautised everytime I see the policemen. I bet it's those stuff I hear since young. Things like if I don't behave the policeman will catch me away or something. Why should adults say such things to scare me? Anyway, I just happened to walk home and saw some policemen interrogating some people. And I was not to the extent of terrified luh, but am a little scared when I walked past them, when I did nothing wrong at all! Ha, kind of funny huh.
Dark eyecircles. Does anyone have anything that can remove them for me? Oh yeah, yesterday Physics lecture doing the Alevel08 MCQ right, I was being lame and poked Sharon. OMG what a wrong decision! I think apparently her mood wasn't very good or something. Because she raised her voice at everyone in the lecture hall because we're too noisy or something. OPPS wrong time to poke her! :X
Mugging is getting intensive. Have done lots of comprehensions for GP and lots of MCQ and paper2 and 3 for Physics. Hopefully they help! My two lowest percentile subject. URGH ):
20090809
Wishing upon a thousand stars.
9:34 PM
Happy birthday Singapore! :DHappy birthday Wong Hui Fang, the nation's girl! I miss you freaking hell much, because you never turned up for outings. Unforgivable, but I still love you so much girl! (:
As promised, wishlist will be up so that people do not have excuses that they didn't have time to get them. I give people one month's notice in advance okay haha. And I actually spend time thinking it up, so please take time and effort to read through it.
1. LG Lollipop phone.
(Freaking hell when is the phone coming out? ._. I'm so tired of waiting for it. Anyone else has other equally nice flip phones to recommend?)
2. Wallet.
If you guys read Teenage magazine, get the October 2008 issue, flip to page 49. There's this 'Paul Frank monogram white wallet from Flash&Splash. Flash&Splash is located at Heerens.
3. Camera.
I've no comments about this because no one in the right mind would get me this. Probably Sharon, if you ever read this, you can. Because you're a working adult and is thus rich enough.
4. Pretty clothes + shoes + accessories.
Which is crap, 'cause you wouldn't have the same taste as me. So why not give me money straightaway haha.
5. NIKE bottle.
Okay I don't know how to describe it, but I'm sure you guys have seen it before.
http://www.sheactive.co.uk/images/items/338x451/IMG61992096.jpg this kind. Haha, I remember seeing a purple one. I want the purple one, actually the pink one is okay. Aiyah, you guys know my taste right. Those kind of girlish colour. I swear this is one of the most practical gifts already.
6. Body Shop's strawberry/pomengrate hydrating spray.
The strawberry one is nowhere to be found. If only Lissya stocks up many many bottles in her house. Therefore, I will settle for pomengrate one, btw pomengrate one is limited edition. So, it might disappear off the shelves anytime.
7. New shoulder bag.
I haven't decided what I want though but just not the same old boring kind luh. Even Lissya is bored of it haha, the same old black rectangular kind.
Okay I can't think of anything else already. I'm being really impractical here haha. Somehow this year's wishlist are like all rather expensive products. Okay, oh yeah but please, no more soft toys. I know they're cute and stuff but my house has thousands of them. And it's always piggy stuff.
1. Awesome Prelims results. (Since I spend my birthday mugging for Prelims, I must gain something from it right.)
2. Followed by even more splendid Alevels results.
3. I hope hair grows long enough by end of year so that I can get my curls soon! :D
Okay post is getting boring. I wonder how many people read this in the first place. Hopefully, there won't be repeated presents luh haha. Okay, bye till I decided I need another break. For now, it shall be dead.
Oh yes, can someone teach me how to navigate around in Livejournal. I had such a hard time creating a blog in Livejournal.
20090808
Hiatus soon.
9:41 PM
I'm going to cut off connection with the cyber space by Monday hopefully. This so-called extended holiday hasn't been good because there're just too many homework to complete. Once again, I'm feeling the stress for the coming Prelims especially when I haven't done absolutely well for CTs. Okay, I've to admit that there were significant improvements in all subjects for the percentiles luh. But looking at Lilin's, you just can't help but feel demoralised and that you haven't worked hard enough.
And the fact that somehow, my immune system broke down and I've been sick on and off makes mugging even harder with all the headaches and stuff. Hence, I decided it's time to go on a hiatus and this blog will remain dead till after Prelims, which is like 25th September I think. Probably I will just pop by from time to time to update it.
Hate the fact, totally, that my 18th birthday is going to be spent on mugging. No birthday celebrations nor surprises, just mugging. And that reminds me that from today onwards, anyone else's birthday presents will be damn belated because I've absolutely no time for anything right now. I know people won't measure our friendship with superficial things like presents right. But then again, fine I'm indeed superficial and materialistic so I want my presents. I'm giving people extra notice and I'll upload the list of birthday presents I want for this year. HAHA. But nothing beats awesome Prelim results luh really. And of course awesome Alevels results too. But no one can give me that, except myself of course.
I've looked throught the past chatlogs and I realise I've absolutely no reason to subject myself to stuff like these. Mr S's action will be deemed as abnormal and I'm not giving a hoot about it until further improvements can be seen. And I will use time wisely. Instead of lamenting over stuff like that, I might as well spend time mugging and stop procrastinating.
So glad that I'm not tired these days and I haven't been falling asleep in classes nor lectures. In fact, more awake than ever.
Bye, this won't be the last post because I haven't posted my wishlist yet. HAHA
20090807
Overwhelmed.
10:02 PM
A series of events happened this week, so to get things clear and understood, I shall summarise it.
Firstly, was absent from school once again on Tuesday. Stomach flu I guess. I got a whole week of MC from PE 'cause of that. I am clarifying something. It's not that I'm some unenthu freak who doesn't want to go for PE but tennis seriously doesn't interest me at all. Wednesday is a boring day, just that Zhengpin made me day by telling me that she loves my eyes. AWW HOW SWEET! :D
Okay for Thursday and Friday (which is today), there were exciting stuff! :D
1. (: I'm still feeling so happy that I got 14/16 for Phy E.Field MCQ. (Opps that's on Monday.)
2. ): Mr. S is freaking hell giving me false hopes.
3. |: Was that me?
4. (: I talked quite a lot to her! (Without feeling v. uncomfortable or smth.)
5. ): Lissya has been not accepting my request to mug/chat/whatever everytime I ask her.
6. (: Had an awesome dinner yesterday.
7. (: Found a new MK (Lissya do you remind what MK stands for!) yesterday.
8. ): Decided to not have this MK.
9. (: Miaoqun talked to me!
10. (: Bryan Lim! HAHA.
11. (: Class outing was nice.
Okay, I'll elaborate on some of the points.
Refer to point 6. Had dinner with badminton people yesterday, sort of a farewell dinner for Xiaojun and Weirong. (Freak luh Weirong not even going off that early.) It wasn't awkward as expected because I thought we haven't gathered for very long and are becoming distant. I guess it really shows that 4years of bonding together did make a lot of difference. It was a fun night, I laughed a lot. Everyone looked the same actually, just that Woonshin became a hell lot more hilarious.
And I found a new MK yesterday. Okay MK meant my kind (short form for my kind of guy). It was damn funny and weird luh. It's like I totally didn't expect to see him there. Haha okay. So seeing point 8, people must be wondering how come I decided not to have this MK. Well, if you read my facebook note 'my kind of guy', he totally didn't fulfil one of my most important criteria. He's freaking hell about 1plus month younger. Okay, so goodbye MK.
Points 9 and 10. Miaoqun came back today! At the end after the whole celebration, Miaoqun walked up to me and said this: "I remember your face, but I can't remember your name. What's your name huh?" I replied her saying it's okay but I remembered her face but I couldn't remember her name too haha! Until I ask Ningxin of course. But I couldn't blame her luh. I only talked to her like thrice the most.
OMG and point 10. Bryan Lim came back as well! Gosh, I didn't know and didn't realise. Until don't know when, I turned my head and saw him. I practically shrieked (inside me) haha and Dhiya and Peisi sensed my excitement. According to Dhiya, my face went all red and I think it was only in a matter of seconds. Gosh, haha I'm saying this because I presume that he doesn't know me nor the existence of this blog. And A01 people who read this won't tell Nicholas Ang to tell Bryan Lim. Okay, anyway this is so over. It was in the past okay. Xiaoxi is going to kill me if she ever reads this and realise that even though I've sweared a thousand times that I'm over him, I'm still sounding like I'm damn gaga over him. But seriously, I ain't anymore. Just only that few minutes HAHA.
Please let that be me. I sensed some form of concern from it. And your trust in me, if it's me. And that's almost everything. That can translate into the strength I need.
20090802
100 days.
10:27 PM
Quoting from N.T.H (Haha Tinghui I still can't believe it. It's super funny when I know it's you.) haha, there's only 100 days left to Alevels. It should be accurate right, though I wish it wasn't. I can't believe it, there's only 100 days left for me to consolidate 2 years of work, of which I'm still largely unfamiliar with. Oh gawd. And yes, Lissya is right, 33 days to Prelims to consolidate 2 years of work too. URGH I can survive this. I've to right?!
Life sucks, with just mugging. Mugging leaves me with nothing except fatigue and lethargy. So much so that I really want to just go home everyday to rest. So much so that, sad to say, I don't even feel the passion to run down to dance practices anymore. You just aren't in the mood for anything. Oh and so much so that I'm feeling indifferent about it when I'm seeing it slip past me. Alright, but I do have to admit that life's a lot better and crappier nowadays with BCD, especially when Ah C is getting crappier by the day. I still can't believe we have the weirdest clique name ever, ABCD haha.
Oh yeah, and I decided to give myself some alone time and after dinner yesterday, I walked to the library. I actually wasn't really taking a stroll, 'cause it's close to 8 already and the library closes at 9. I enjoy the alone time in the library as always and the stroll back after that, feeling the night breeze. (But actually there wasn't any breeze yesterday, just imagine there is okay.) I did feel a lot better, less stressed and stuff. But something to rant about, how come an hour before closing time, the library is still as packed huh!
Oh yeah, haha I know this is damn long ago but Saniah, and maybe Gwen as well, stop being so intrigued by the fact that I can take buses from both sides. What's wrong with that LOL. And stop being so jealous that my journey to everywhere is always so short and stuff.
Oh yeah should be meeting Xiaojun and Weirong and rest of badminton gang for dinner this Thursday. It better be okay, 'cause Xiaojun's going back on 10th August! Oh yeah, and NDCs is something I look forward to. S21 outing! :D
P.S. There's assembly again tomorrow! Awesome, I'd be able to ramble on non-stop to Lissya again. Heh, see how important you're to me Lissya! :D Oh yeah and sorry for the emoing. I just have to get the words out and maybe you'll see it and we can salvage the relationship or smth.
20090801
How vague, I'll never know.
11:51 AM
I shouldn't have sneaked online to use the computer. Sorry, weekend policy must really start to hold soon, no, I mean right now, immediately. Seeing how my classmates mug and stuff, I really felt like I'm freaking hell wasting all my time away. And then turning around, complaining to another gang of people that I've no time for everything. I could have, but I just refused to use it wisely. So, I shouldn't be blogging right now right? But I figured out that since I'm online, I might as well blog now so that I'll have no excuse to come online again at night :P
First, happy birthday to all these awesome people:
Alan Lee, Qin Tianhe, Wong Jiaomei - 29th July.
Masu Monyi - 30th July
Sharifah Saniah (...) Aljunied - 31st July.
I actually did not mention Alan nor commemorate that day on my blog nor my personal diary. WOW after like 6, 7 years? Haha, does it prove that I'm over it or mugging just deprived me of time for other things? But oh well, I was over it long ago seriously.
On a side note, I have to mention this. I recently love this song a lot. Invisible by Taylor Swift.
I just wanna show you
She don't even know you
She's never gonna love you like I want to
And you just see right through me
If you only knew me
We can be a beautiful miracle, unbelievable, instead of just invisible.
Okay, that wasn't the whole point I was trying to make. In fact, it's a contradiction to what I want to say.
From here onwards, this is going to sound vague. And if you think I'm referring to you, then think again. Almost impossible to be you, because I don't think the person I'm referring to ever comes this anymore. And warning, long post ahead I think. Stop reading here if necessary.
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Was just happening to read your past entries and realise that everytime there's this vague portion where no names are mentioned, it never seems to refer to me. Things that sound like 'Aww you care so much' but then somehow, nothing, not a single part of it feels like it's ever meant for me. Because when you just shed a tear, complain a little, people are all waiting to comfort you. Maybe you'll never know this, because you've stopped coming here. Just read through the past entries yourself, how many times am I mentioned inside. Insignificant, compared to one thousand other times you mention them. This is vague too, 'cause I'm not mentioning any names, so even if you happen to see this, you probably might never know it's you.
It takes a huge amount of courage to just drop a sms and say hi. Infinite number of times, contemplated settling things all at a go. But then, stopped when I wanted to say it. It's not as easy as you think, or maybe you thought it's hard too. That's why we're leaving things as it is, not caring and not bothering, hoping that time will erase all memories. But it's not possible, totally. It did started off fine, I really felt it, and I still believe you do too. Then there was this blank, and we seem to have disappeared from each other's lives. Which wasn't what I wanted. I meant every single word when I said " I don't want to be just part of a memory". Oh freak, is this getting obvious? Although the feeling isn't as strong now, but I still want you back. Alright fine, I admit I won't do everything to get you back, but I definitely won't do nothing to get you back.
One day, we will have to resolve this. I know it takes immerse amount of strength on my part, probably yours too. But it hurts more to leave things as it is. There's this gloomy feeling everytime I see you, hear about you. Which definitely isn't supposed to be the case. I remember Aubrey said this to me before: " If they are your favourite seniors, they're supposed to make you happy, not sad." She's referring to YLW then, but this whole thing applies too. You're my favourite person, and the thought of you is never supposed to make me tear. Don't say things like "At least we've wonderful memories before". No at least, it can't just stop there. There're so many more years to go, we should continue to create awesome memories. No things like "It's not like I can't survive without you". I can of course, but it hurts to luh seriously. The mere fact that you share my lowest and highest moments makes it hard for me to forget. And then, there're so much more too. If you haven't hurt me that much, I'd probably never realise how important you're to me.
When there's this day I can finally take down my mask to face you, and let you know how much you truly meant to me, how much I want you back, it'd be awesome. When that day comes, I'd be able to stop lying about how much I don't really care and bother about you, because I do, a lot. Maybe it's not like everytime I get so bothered, but you'll never know how bothered I get when it happens.
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Okay, end of emoing. Back to mugging.
