20090531
scared
10:29 PM
i know this is stupid, dont ask me why. but im just scared. i think i shd go sleep soon, cause im feeling scared.
okay ive been having nightmares quite frequently. i know this sounds stupid that im still scared of nightmares but i am indeed! and i cant help it. i want to grow out of it too. but its quite hard for me. i wonder what is it indicating? im too stressed out? im really quite stressed out by common tests cause im having v high expectations of my results this time round. but the thing is i havent even started revising! i wonder how many nightmares i will have every night if im having intensive revision.
im going to stop blogging and stop coming online soon. okay probably only on weekends. and weekdays will be spent studying and mugging. people havent been updating their blog why huh!
its only 1030pm. wth the night is still young for most people. but im freaking scared cause of the nightmare i had ytd. why is the dark so scary. im scared to fall asleep cause i will have another nightmare but im even more scared to stay awake cause the dark is just so scary. so ive to force myself to go to sleep. at least its like, not every night i would have a nightmare right. maybe i can try to think of nice stuff before sleeping, probably i will dream of nice stuff.
the dream the previous night was a funny one though haha. no one shall know what is it. i shall just laugh alone whenever i think of it. its super cute and funny haha.
20090527
funny story
10:58 PM
my mum was telling me this interesting story.
at some crowded area, there's this woman and her daughter. they were walking and a teenage guy accidentally knocked her daughter. the woman claims that the guy molested her daughter and insisted on making a police report. the teenage guy, probably hasnt met with such problematic situations before, was like at a loss luh. so he kept on pleading with the woman to let him off. but the woman refused to (WTH IS WRONG W THE WOMAN)
and they attracted a large crowd luh. a lot of passers-by were like telling the woman forget it luh, since the guy didnt do it on purpose (and i bet the guy probably just brushed past the girl) and even if he did, just give him a chance luh. and the woman just refused to. so the passers-by were like saying you can go make a police report, they will be the witnesses for the guy that he didnt touch the girl.
anyway, this smart guy. as the woman was like ranting on and stuff, and like describing the situation or smth with a lot of hand gestures and movements, this guy silently stood near the woman. and when her hand accidentally touched a part of his body, he screamed MOLEST really loudly. haha quite funny, and the passers-by were like testifying for the guy that the woman molested him. so in the end, the woman had no choice but to not make any report.
smart guy huh. what a great way to solve this problem. but he made such a big sacrifice. he better go wash whichever part that the woman's hand touched. its like eww full of germs. whats wrong with that woman man -.-
i dont know why im wasting a post on this LOL
the last dance
10:27 PM
no matter how unwilling im to face it, the fact remains a fact. yesterday was the last day im dancing liku hidup.
when i wake up today morning, the hairspray smell still lingers around my hair haha. the shampoo i use just wouldnt get rid of that smell. but that is also going to be the last time im going to have this irritating smell on my hair. and actually suddenly, it doesnt smell that bad afterall.
thinking about the past syf trgs and stuff and post syf performances, i realised that all the rolling and that 200plus rollings at the raintree on a half day mrng doesnt seem v tiring afterall. the 'again's doesnt sound irritating anymore. the FT doesnt seem as painful and the PT doesnt feel v exhausting afterall. i'll in fact gladly do all these again if ive another chance to prepare for syf09 again.
all the outings, all the performances, every single dance practice, every birthday we celebrate leave me thousands of things to look back on. cause of njc malay dance, my jc life has been utterly awesome and colourful :D
so how can i bear to leave and step down urgh. gwen and i have got ready our running shoes and we will run back to practices anytime! so the next generation, dont think you can slack your way through huh. you will literally feel our presence. i could rantle on and on but my whole post will only revolve around one point, which is i love njc malay dance so much. i used to have thought that if only ive ip-ed into njc two years earlier. although ive to study in nj two years more, i also get to dance malay dance 2 years more. but then, things would have been different. i wouldnt have gone in cause angela went in, i might not even be in njc malay dance. everything happens for a reason.
okay anyway, and i want to say that it will not be my last dance. and it applies to all the sh2s too. it wont be our last dance, next year aristal, we will be back :D
and im seriously touched by all the 5 letters ive received : pp, thinking, eunice, shairah, saiful. and im expecting more right :D haha, whatever the case, ive read every single word carefully and i really appreciate all the time and effort you all have put in (:
and i remember that on syf day, charmaine's ipod was playing the national day song right, we will get there haha:
Remember the days,
we set out together with faith?
(believing that we'll get our gwhs) Remember the times, so fine,
(thats before we know we're dancing w plates)when we thought that nothing could stand in our way.
Then things weren't the same,
the life that we knew had to change.
(thats when we know we've to dance w plates) We've struggled through the darkest storms, we thought we couldn't tame. (thats when our plates drop) Together we've tried,
(thats when we practise how to handle plates) As we stood side by side
(like literally in the formation) I knew we'd build a new world,
a world of hope forever after.
(we built njc malay dance) Deep in my heart I just know, right from the start we will grow. (our love grows& we grow into dancers) Look where we are,
we've come so far and there's still a long long way to go
(MORE GWHs) With all of my heart, I will care.
I'll play my part, I will share
With
family and friends, together we'll stand
(so we can't sit next time) And in the end, hand in hand,
we will get there.
(and we'll always be up there) So now we begin, working together to win
Believing in trust, it must be possible to overcome anything.
There's so much to do,
there's so much we can contribute
By sharing just a little love,
we will start again anew
So why don't we try?
If we stand side by side
I know we'll build a new world,
A world of hope for ever after
20090524
downs
10:05 PM
i dont know how to phrase it. its not a v nice thing.
sometimes i really wonder. whether a short happy life is better. or a longer life but ur stuck with someone you dont love for 20years and counting.
life is actually so unpredictable right. lots of things happen all the time. and before you know it, you've lost the chance to do so.
it made me realise something. i really hate mugging you know. cause you get so tired so stressed up and stuff and the disappointment when you just cant get ur desired grades. but it really made me realise that as much as i hate it, i still have to mug. and it'd have been a total waste of my time if i had just gone to sch, not learning a single thing at all. and the thing is i dont have much time left for me to waste. as such, i shall not come online after 5june or smth like that. why 5 june. cause i still have alot of activities until up to 5th june.
dance is going to stop soon. like real soon, like in two days time. there's this huge part of me that will be like forcefully being taken away and ive to mug. (thats another reason why i hate mugging, 'cause ive to stop dancing). and it kind of feels weird and empty, cause ive nothing to look forward to when i come to sch, after im released from a tired day. and all im going to do for the rest of the year is to mug. and i better do well for a's 'cause i sacrificed so much. 'cause i've to stop dancing entirely. 'cause im going to see my dancers so much less.
and then yeah back to the topic again. i wonder how someone can endure being stuck with another person you dont love for 20years and counting. the thought enough is kinda scary right. it alr feels hard to be living with the one you love for 20years, seeing the same face for 20years, i mean not only love, understanding, communication all those are necessary to sustain this relationship for 20years. so its hard. and someone you dont love... but there isnt really an excuse right. whatever, i just pray and hope that it will never happen to me. i mean duh, it absolutely definitely wont.
ive been losing my temper quite alot these days. being really pissed off at my mum and stuff. seriously, mums are really naggy gosh. i appreciate all she has done for me but sometimes, its just irritating luh. but alright i shant complain. scholars will kill me for not appreciating what ive.
i will pray and hope that she is happy wherever she is. they are happy and the baby will grow up healthy, happy and stuff. we will all be there together for them right. although i dont know her v well, i still couldnt help feeling sad. this shouldnt even have happened in the first place.
on a happier note, my little neighbour, cute little alicia, has learnt to speak :D she's always so excited to see me around these days and she just brightens up my whole day! yeah yeah she just called me jiejie, like finally! after so long that her mum made her say that, she finally said hi jiejie to me and omg you shd just see how cute she is :D btw scholars, jiejie means sister.
20090521
greedy
10:16 PM
the other time at gp lecture, ms kaur said that greed is not good. haha, i was just thinking probably in my case right now, it isnt so negative right. in the case of greedy for higher marks. last year, i aim for pass in all my subjects, okay probably aiming for smth better in maths. now, im actually not satisfied with a mere pass. i aim for higher marks, smth way higher than whatever im getting now. but i dont know if the effort that ive put in is enough. it doesnt seem so, cause if it was, i wouldnt get the marks im not satisfied with...
perhaps this kind of greed is alright? it motivates me to work harder hopefully. haha, okay some other things. sharon tey said to hang out someday next week. haha aww, i know she loves me :D could we go to the icecream place at sixth avenue (: i miss the waffle alr haha since the other time i ate it with dancers :D
and then i randomly talk to ly about prom dress. haha oh yay she'll design for me RIGHT haha. its quite early to talk about prom but omg im so excited to see what wonderful designs she could come up with :D haha someday, i will meet up w her to discuss about it. what kind does she thinks suit me and what kind do i like.
oh and shiqi darling, when's our outing. it has been dragged for MONTHS. were we supposed to go out last dec or LAST JUNE! mygosh haha, and then we will go marks and spencers to get FOOD. haha shiqi is a greedy woman too when it comes to food :D i shall go and get my all-time fav biscuits which ive been eating during dance pracs.
i see mdm teh today haha. i saw pinyan too. i ate jap food today. ok the proper name is asian delights or smth like that. it totally sucks with udon. seriously haha or probably its just me. i dont like udon i think that ramen are better. but speaking of which, kobayashi's udon is not bad. i miss it, but i probably only can find it at cineleisure now.
i want to eat sushi luh. next wed? hopefully can, if not i dont need to eat alr luh ):
20090518
happy birthday
10:07 PM
TO TWO OF THE MOST WONDERFUL LADIES IN MY LIFE :
HAPPY BIRTHDAY! (:
to hwarng (17/5) and lissya (18/5), i love you :D
to mingli (16/5), jimmy (17/5) and mark (18/5), happy birthday as well :D
mingli, hope ur ns life is GREATTTTT HAHA
jimmy, hope you and ur wife and daughter will live happily ever after :D
mark, hope you will be happy always :D
bdays are nice occasions. have a great day people!
20090517
life's good!
9:14 PM
haha i thought that ive really changed. being real positive about life and stuff. and totally unaffected by those emo kids haha. thursday wasnt an awesome day. some things just werent going my way and i was kinda affected by it.
but just when i wanted to go and emo away for a while, something nice happened! :D liwei called me at 11:13pm! it came as a huge surprise, i was totally too surprised and i didnt know how to react for a second or two, but quickly picked up the call. haha it was a nice conversation but you know, i wont ever sacrifice my sleep for anyone/anything. so yeah hanged up after a while and went to sleep. obviously for the first 15mins i was tossing around in bed, too excited to sleep! :D
and then on friday after tech run, saniah gwen and i cabbed down to vivo to support ly for her compt :D some of the dresses are really pretty and the dress that ly the great designer is wearing is really pretty! and it was the purple dress she told me about last dec hols that she designed and made in vietnam. wahlao eh, cao nv hai ly, i officially engaged you to design my prom dress for me this year luh! :D oh and ly's design got into top10.
then sat, i went to fareast. haha just walked and walked and walked. great sg sales is coming! 29th may haha! hopefully all the pretty clothes and shoes and accessories will be even cheaper and then i will SHOP haha. i freaking hell need to go get a job after a's in order to spend on everything i wanna get.
and then, channel u showed the korean drama, boys over flowers, at 915pm ytd! omg omg haha its damn nice! :D i was so tempted to continue watching i immediately went on youtube to watch the next episode! so next sat ive to watch a repeat of what ive watched. but alright, they're all cute guys so its okay :D still, ethan ruan is cuter. but as the show progresses they might be of equal standing as ethan ruan. anyway, thats the 2nd reason why im so happy. the show is nice! :D and the first reason is cause liwei called me luh.
the next 2 weeks are going to be rather slack. if im not called back for lessons, i actually have nothing to do for week 10 except preparing for sisc opening and helping ip team prepare for sisc cultural night.
and talking about it, i just couldnt help but to get a lil sad. this week is going to be like my last week of official dance practice. sisc opening is my last dance performance. im so unwilling to face it, that ive to step down, but its approaching real fast. next week, at this time, it will be only 2 days to my last dance performance...
anyway, hope secret mission succeeds! :D
20090512
love match
10:12 PM
im actually not supposed to be online, i can do like 1 hr more of hw, but urgh im on a secret mission :P and therefore, im online, so i will be blogging. haha 'cause i've some interesting things to share (:
okay there's this sort of like game thingy in my hp, and then okay i was feeling bored in the afternoon so i was playing with it. you know its like those love calculator thingy, but this one calculates work and friendship too. ive some calculations and i thought its freaking true! but wait, first, you must follow the step to obtain your day number first :
- Add the digits for your day of birth, and keep adding them until they reduce to one number. eg:
7 June = 7
14 March = 1+4=5
28 Nov = 2+8=10, and 1+0=1
29 Jan= 2+9=11, and 1+1=2
30 May= 3+0=3
okay, so following the examples, i got my number which is 1+1=2 and i found some that're like freaking true. so im going to share here. you can ask who these ppl are. but the initials may or may not be their surname or first name or last name.
MY EX CRUSHES WHICH OBVIOUSLY FAILED TO BLOSSOM:the person's number: 7 (Mr. X and Mr. O)2 stars! not an obvious success! 2 respects 7's mind but
feels a duty to drag them out of being unhappy. when what 7 really needs is solitude. to work longterm, much negotiation is needed.
the person's number: 9 (Mr. Z)3 stars! could be good! you broaden each other's horizons and are willing to learn from one another, but
9 needs emotional privacy. patience is required; let this bond find its own pace.
SOME FAILED RSHIPS OF MY FRIENDS:5+4 ( Mr. X + Ms. H) :2stars! tricky!
few areas of common ground, here : 4 will always be trying to hold 5 down to discuss the future, while 5 lives for the moment. 5 will have to be flexible and 4 indulgent for this to work.
7+7 (Mr. X + Ms. M) :3 stars! strong magnetism! you excite one another and may bring out the best in each other...
or you may compete, and turn highly critical. this meeting of minds may not be grounded enough; handle with care.
i believe no one is interested with my relationships w my ex-colleagues but well, they're all quite good! like at least 3 stars! so now, i will move on to friendships!
the person's number: 2 ( Ms. X)2stars! can be strained! you've too much in common, perhaps and may hit out at each other's weak spots.
mutual understanding of each other's sensitivity should help here. not the easiest of friendships.the person's number: 4 (SHARIFAH SANIAH AND ANTONIO ZB :D )4stars! close friends! 2 finds 4 truly reliable and loyal, and makes 4 laugh quietly at small disasters, and 4 encourages 2 to be more hands-on about life.
these numbers give each other support.the person's number: 5 (Mr. J + Mr. J)1star!!! chalk and cheese! 5 seems short-sighted to 2, undervaluing things that 2 feels have great merit, while 2 seems too serious and strait-laced to 5.
different styles to everything!the person's number: 7 (WKB, PP)5stars!!! kindred spirits! things that may irritate 2 about 7 in a romance are an inspiration in friendship: 7 takes on the world and doesnt back down - and 2 adds considerable charm to the argument.
a good bond!the person's number: 8 (GWEN HWARNG)4stars! lifelong chums! you think, feel believe in similar things, and each see both sides of an argument. and 8 relies on
2's good judgement - which so often corroborates theirs.
a very strong friendship!the person's number: 9 (NURLISSYA BINTE SUWANDI)3stars!
good friends! 2 brings practical thinking to 9, and 9 bolsters 2's self beliefs. 9 likes
2's kind spirit, but may wish they pushed themselves forward a little more. perhaps 9 can help here?
AND LISSYA SPECIALLY CALCULATED FOR YOU, PLEASE DO SEE THIS AS GOOD ADVICE :
8+9 :2stars! lacking in romance! both are spiritual numbers, which can be liberating and exciting as lovers, and you have similar mindsets... yet passion may not feature strongly. perhaps a little businesslike?
and with this, i shall end this kinda long post. if you've smth you want me to calculate, just tag at my tagboard. your number and the person's number so that means you need the person's bday luh. haha this is like 75% accurate from what ive done so far. like even the words and stuff, not just the number of stars.
20090511
result of too much dramas
12:01 AM
i was watching some drama on youtube and the result of it is that you get a lil down. 'cause the plot is like so saddening luh! but i like watching these dramas. good dramas seriously reflect whatever we will encounter in our lives. altho i love happy endings, but sometimes i like sad endings as well 'cause our lives are never perfect. and thats why we should all learn how to make it more perfect by being less emo (:
eunice is getting out of her emoing mood already (: lissya dont start emoing okay. im your 2nd motivation :D alison's recent blog posts consisting of alot of unknowns feel emo, alison stop being emo! wkb is less emo too (: yay he's slowly reviving haha!
okay sorry to the vietnamese people and malays, you cant understand these but well. these are song lyrics. dont ask me to translate the whole song, it would have lost its meaning 'cause if i can translate it that well and still retain its meaning, i can go be a songwriter already lol.
刘力扬 一个人就好街 挤满了欢笑
太不适合 眼泪凑热闹
快跑快寻找 无人的转角
不优雅时候 一个人 最好
爱 说退就退潮
我松开手 回忆却没放掉
未来不来了 地球继续绕
躲回温暖的梦 我一个人就好
为什么越相信谁能依靠
越换来又一次灵魂寂寥
有没有永远 再不会让心绝望的解药
如果说越踏出世界一脚
越不能保留住天真微笑
那从今以后 我一个人过就很好
心 很平静地跳
只是寂寞 潜伏像海啸
突然某一秒 偷袭我眼角
眼泪自己擦掉 我一个人很好S.H.E. - 天亮了
天亮了 天亮了 地球又转一圈了
世界还活生生地存在着 还活着 没想到我还活着
穿越一场海啸 什么滋味 我终于亲身体会
天崩地裂 精疲力竭 灵魂不在身体里面
然而万岁万岁 终于和你有个了结
你一边 我一边 我们的世界最好别再重叠
也别再回想那个太长太长的昨天
太多爱 太多泪 别再这样浪费
天亮了 天亮了 地球又转一圈了
既然我还幸运地活着 当然要全力以赴去快乐
天亮了 天亮了 世界还是好好的
什么痛都是很渺小的 看太阳不是又升起来了
结束 一段感情 当然不像 搬个家那么方便
太多细节 太多碎片 堆在回忆那间房间
但是忍耐一点 不去碰它就不危险
你没变 我没变 我们到最后才弄懂这一点
人活着不就为了实现一个个心愿
好可惜 我和你许了不同的愿
天亮了 天亮了 地球又转一圈了
既然我还幸运地活着 当然要 全力以赴去快乐
天亮了 天亮了 世界还是好好的
什么痛都是很渺小的 看太阳不是又升起来了
我的心是我的 不会再给你了
我是我自己的 我很快乐sometimes, i seriously wonder why people can write out such meaningful lyrics. haha maybe i will have one more ambition besides wedding planner and hotel manager, i shall be a songwriter too :D
20090510
200th post
12:09 AM
its my 200th post, as what blogger has stated. it ought to be some special post. BUT nothing extremely special has happened recently. i dont have special things happening in my life, only small lil things. but its all these small lil things that make life great. ive said this a thousand times, and im glad its beginning to sink into eunice and emo ppl lol.
okay i'll try to find smth happy to talk about. i realise ive been improving for econs. i was damn damn happy to realise that whatever ms lee said in her essay outline, ive written them down in mine. i couldnt felt any more proud to know that i actually seem to be moving in the right direction. damn glad, oh and quantum phy quiz was alright :D
maths test was horrible though, i just hope that the marks dont come out bad. and by bad, i mean just pass.
dance on thurs! smth i was kinda looking forward to 'cause this week has been draggy and urgh. altho it started off w a half day on monday. anyway, lt5 stage is seriously freaking small to be considered a stage of a performing arts theatre. plates fly, ppl and by ppl i actually only mean joey haha, got stuck to the wall while backrolling, and then our circle became an oval, at least from my point of view, it was an oval. but overall, i laughed a lot haha life's great w dancers around :D
BY THE WAY, smth not really nice : there're only like 6/7 more dance sessions to go. i really really really really dont want to step down. gwen, lets carry out our plan haha. we will run back to prac even aft we're forced to step down (:
OH and strawberry has arrived! on thursday night isit. a new addition to our big family yay! (: when are we going to visit mrs. j and zoey! gosh gosh gosh im going to carry her dont snatch from me people! *JUMPS AROUND EXCITEDLY* mean people, can you guys stop thinking that i will drop the baby... i wont luh! its not like ive never carried a baby before.
ppl seem to be less emo recently. yay :D
20090503
fan!
10:52 PM
okay pp told me to update, haha i was going to anyway.
sat spa, hah its expected or maybe not so. i only got to hear that its thermistor on the bus. but anyway, you know my attitude, i dont really care/bother to study about spa. and i didnt die haha. at least not that badly. i managed to do the application part too. although i found out i wrote it wrongly WAHLAO.
mr lim said stack the tables and chairs up haha but i dont care. i grab my bag and run out, im the first one out! and then when i ran down i saw huiwei gosh haha. the two of us were the first two to dash out of the hall i guess. the canteen stairs were blocked but we dont really care. we ran down lol, although there was some man fixing smth on top. and thats exactly why we ran, in case anything drops down and hit us. half the dancers are already done and some of the guys were sleeping. so all in all, they were all really fast and cooperative so thanks dancers : D
okay, soon by 10 or so, me and huiwei were done too. ms ting bought sausage mcmuffin for us, i ate half of it but were too full, somehow haha. but anyway thanks ms ting :D went to the raintree to try out and was SHOCKED to know that the stage we're dancing on is actually half of what we're practising all along. MYGOSH. while trying out the stage, 'cause there wasnt boundaries, we unknowingly extended the stage ourselves haha.
okay got to malay heritage centre and we have to go through temp check. yeah okay i must say the sg is really vigilant alr, so tgt we can fight back the swine flu :D was kind of HORRIFIED when we got up the stage 'cause its really small. i dont know if its just me, but i wasnt enjoying the performance. i was worrying whether i will hit the equipments behind me or not, or will i backroll down the stage. i know a few ppl purposely didnt do a proper backroll in fear of rolling down the stage. all in all, weird but alright, we managed to all stay on stage hah!
after that, wasnt feeling well. so im sorry if i was fierce eunice. but i dont think i am what! haha, wanted to go have lunch w the dancers but really felt terrible so i went home to rest instead. had like 2 hours of nap so i was kind of feeling better and i ate lunch at 5pm haha. oh yeah, thanks to the guys 'cause i know they pack up the stuff really fast. i was at one side, didnt feel like doing anything, and before i know it, they're done. thanks guys :D
then some fun things happen! at 6plus PM or so, i went out to meet this fan guy haha to buy FAN lol. damn funny, and he's DAMN PICKY haha. and he knows it. anyway, we managed to get this fan luh, and his room is now well ventilated huh. and then yeah kind of fun, its the first time im shopping for a fan! and im glad i was being totally decisive and said 'BUY!' when he left the decision to me 'cause if not for me, both of us would be stuck there forever. i went home soon after.
and after that he said this to me :
'but i dont feel that guilty when i trouble you like that'
'haha to other ppl i wouldnt want them to come even if they offer help lor'
'yea coz youre close friend, close enough you wont feel guilty la'
and it just summarizes up everything. that all the quarrels are not that bad afterall, haha quite worth it but then again its going to be PEACE from now on.
so lissya, gwen hwarng, saniah and all the other dancers, peisi lilin steph, haha see this! i dont need to feel guilty for troubling you all next time :D
yay once again, i shall repeat this to emo ppl : its all this lil things in life that makes you feel significant loved and happy (:
