i dont know how to phrase it. its not a v nice thing.
sometimes i really wonder. whether a short happy life is better. or a longer life but ur stuck with someone you dont love for 20years and counting.
life is actually so unpredictable right. lots of things happen all the time. and before you know it, you've lost the chance to do so.
it made me realise something. i really hate mugging you know. cause you get so tired so stressed up and stuff and the disappointment when you just cant get ur desired grades. but it really made me realise that as much as i hate it, i still have to mug. and it'd have been a total waste of my time if i had just gone to sch, not learning a single thing at all. and the thing is i dont have much time left for me to waste. as such, i shall not come online after 5june or smth like that. why 5 june. cause i still have alot of activities until up to 5th june.
dance is going to stop soon. like real soon, like in two days time. there's this huge part of me that will be like forcefully being taken away and ive to mug. (thats another reason why i hate mugging, 'cause ive to stop dancing). and it kind of feels weird and empty, cause ive nothing to look forward to when i come to sch, after im released from a tired day. and all im going to do for the rest of the year is to mug. and i better do well for a's 'cause i sacrificed so much. 'cause i've to stop dancing entirely. 'cause im going to see my dancers so much less.
and then yeah back to the topic again. i wonder how someone can endure being stuck with another person you dont love for 20years and counting. the thought enough is kinda scary right. it alr feels hard to be living with the one you love for 20years, seeing the same face for 20years, i mean not only love, understanding, communication all those are necessary to sustain this relationship for 20years. so its hard. and someone you dont love... but there isnt really an excuse right. whatever, i just pray and hope that it will never happen to me. i mean duh, it absolutely definitely wont.
ive been losing my temper quite alot these days. being really pissed off at my mum and stuff. seriously, mums are really naggy gosh. i appreciate all she has done for me but sometimes, its just irritating luh. but alright i shant complain. scholars will kill me for not appreciating what ive.
i will pray and hope that she is happy wherever she is. they are happy and the baby will grow up healthy, happy and stuff. we will all be there together for them right. although i dont know her v well, i still couldnt help feeling sad. this shouldnt even have happened in the first place.
on a happier note, my little neighbour, cute little alicia, has learnt to speak :D she's always so excited to see me around these days and she just brightens up my whole day! yeah yeah she just called me jiejie, like finally! after so long that her mum made her say that, she finally said hi jiejie to me and omg you shd just see how cute she is :D btw scholars, jiejie means sister.
